So I had an interesting conversation with the 6 year old over the weekend where she pointedly told me someone else that is in her life really hates me and for that matter my car. For the record my car is a Mini Countryman and its awesome so lay off my ride people! But seriously something you never want to hear kids say is the word hate and you certainly don’t want them relaying it because someone is saying it to them about you.
Now, while protecting the privacy of all involved, the person the wee one is referring to is not someone whose behavior I can alter and it is not someone they can not be around, unfortunately I can not elaborate. That being said I had a difficult situation on my hands. The wee one was understandably mad at these comments and wanted me to be mad too. But being mad never fixes anything so I listened and asked questions and let her talk. We ended the conversation and I walked away.
About 15 minutes later I had an idea. I walked back up to her and asked some more questions about the exchange (or in this case exchanges of her being told just how awful I am). I asked does this person talk about me every day? And she said most days. And then I asked if this person knows me well or at all? And she said no. And then I asked if this person talks about me more than any other grown up they know? And she said yes! And lastly I said well how to you feel about me? And she said I love you.
So I did the most illogical thing I could think of next and I said wow this is all really cool news! And the 6 year old understandably was annoyed and confused by my proclamation. So I explained well an adult who doesn’t even really know me, talks about me almost everyday, makes opinions about me and feels strongly about me so basically I’m like a celebrity!! I squeal spin in a circle and announce I’m famous! She looks at me like I’m crazy and starts trying to interject about how I’ve got this all wrong. So I explain we can be mad, sad, angry or we can take this negative and make it a positive.
I don’t need to feel bad, this person doesn’t know me or what I’m like or what I stand for so their opinion of me doesn’t effect me. My family loves me, I’m good at my job, I try to give back to my community and my friends all like me too. So I’m turning this negative into a positive and I am going to be honored that someone spends time out of each day of their lives to spend it on me.
Have you ever had a truly negative situation and created your own positive outlook? What are your tricks for dealing with all the yucky feelings?